Smiling Light
by Eric-I-Love-USUK-Johnson
Summary: Lovino finds out too late that Feliciano is dying. Rated T for language. Human names are used.


_**This is a Spamano but it focuses generally around GerIta; but only human names are used. I don't own Hetalia. Contains character death. Will be incredibly depressing.**_

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Antonio and I were watching a movie together when my cellphone rang. He paused the movie as I pulled it out of the pocket of my shorts.

"What is it now, Feli?" I sighed; being pulled into Antonio so he could hear the conversation too. "It's not Feliciano. It's Ludvig." "THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, YOU POTATO BASTARD!? WHY ARE YOU ON MY BROTHER'S CELLPHONE!?" "Because I knew you vouldn't answer if I called from my own. Vill you calm down und listen?"

He sounded depressed. Antonio frowned at me and I shut up; grunting for Ludwig to continue.

"Danke. Ve-vell...Feliciano's in ze hospital."

Silence. Antonio tightened his grip around my waist and I didn't know how to respond. I choked out "H-how...?" and could hear Ludwig trying not to cry. "I didn't know he vas sick...und-und he vouldn't vake up...Lovino...vat is vrong vith Feliciano...?"

I thought back to us growing up. When he would always run around and pick flowers with that stupid smile on his face. I shook my head. "I-I don't know...what do you mean sick! What happened!?" "Vell...apparently he has cancer."

Again; silence. I felt the tears in my eyes form and Antonio bit his lip; putting his head on my shoulder. "What...kind...of cancer...?" I choked out after a few minutes. That's when I realized Ludwig had hung up. The dial tone was mocking me and I put it on the table. Antonio pulled me close as I began to sob; trying to calm me down. "Shh, Lovi...shh..." he whispered; rubbing my back.

"Th-that idiot...why didn't he tell me..." I sobbed. "Do you want to go and see him?" Antonio asked kindly as he lifted my chin. I nodded and he kissed my head; smiling. "Do you also want a tomato?" "Bastard; I always want a tomato."

Antonio drove us there. He said he didn't want me to drive because I was upset but I knew it was because this was a rental car. He never paid for the damages on his car that I ended up wrapping around a tree. Ludwig came out of the hospital and grabbed my hand; taking me inside. Once we were cleared to enter his room; we went straight to Feliciano.

Seeing him looking pale; connected to machines and seemingly lifeless...I started crying again. _This...this can't be Feliciano...! _"Feli...?" I whispered as I sat next to him. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me; his eyes a dim brown now. "Feli, you idiot; why didn't you tell me...!" I cried as I held his hand. "Ve...I didn't wanna worry you..." he said softly.

Ludwig was watching with Antonio beside him. I kept trying to stay calm; trying to keep my cursing to a minimum but they'd always slip out. Feliciano didn't seem to mind; he had a smile on as I spoke.

"S-so when you coming home? Soon, right?" I asked; no longer looking at my brother. There was silence from both Feliciano and Ludwig. Feliciano had stopped smiling and Ludwig was near tears. "I can't go home, Lovino...cuz I don't have long."

"**WHAT!?**" I screamed. Feliciano winced and looked at me with big, sad eyes. "It's killing me and the doctors said I don't have long and-" "Well they're wrong! Those damn bastards...you can't die, you idiot!" I was standing now; the chair I was in; knocked to the ground and the tears rolling heavily down my cheeks.

Antonio pulled me into his arms and walked me out of the room. I didn't fight with him like I normally would; I felt too weak and heartbroken. "He can beat it; so why is he giving up...?" I asked Antonio. "He's been fighting this for years...Ludwig and I were the only ones to know. He didn't tell you because if you knew you would never let him leave the house and would always take care of him." Antonio kissed my head. "Lovi...he keeps smiling to shelter you from his pain..."

I didn't hear him; I was gripping his shirt and screaming into it. He held me and shushed me; swaying gently from side to side. After few minutes he took me home. He wanted me to sleep to calm down for a week and all I could see was Feliciano dying when I tried. For the next four nights it was the same nightmare. And every night it got worse. Until the fifth night when I saw Death standing beside him; the skull staring at me.

"_He's mine now, Lovino...hehehe..._"

I threw the covers off of me and got dressed; Antonio waking up beside me. "Eh...Lovi; come back to bed...!" he whined playfully and I shot him a dirty look. "No; I want to be beside Feli, tomato bastard...try and stop me." I grabbed my coat and the keys to the rental car; walking towards it. He got dressed and ran after me.

"Lovi Lovi Lovi LOVI~!" he was yelling; running down the stairs. I stopped by the car and looked back at him. "Lovino Vargas; give me the keys." he said sternly; staring at me. "Chigi..." I dropped the keys in his hand and got in. He hopped into the driver's seat and took us to the hospital. "Your nightmares seem bad...why won't you talk about them?" Antonio asked. I stared at the people on the sidewalks and looked at him. "It's the same one...and I think he's about to die. He can't die; not without me there!" I sobbed. Antonio smiled faintly and pulled into the hospital; taking me to his room.

"Lovino; I vas about to call you; Feli's been calling your name...!" Ludwig said; hopping to his feet. I stared at my brother; who was breathing heavily in his sleep; sweat and tears rolling down his face. I sat next to him and stroked his hair; avoiding pressure.

"Fratello...fratello...!" Feliciano sobbed in his sleep; gripping the sheets. I grabbed one of his hands; prying the fingers loose from the sheets and kissing it. "I'm here; shh...I know..." I said weakly; watching him calm down. "Fratello...don't let him..." "The bastard won't touch you." I said. Feliciano smiled; relaxing into his bed. "Te amo..." I teared up. I couldn't say it back. "Ti amo, Feli-chan..." Antonio said softly; kissing his head. "Ich liebe dich..." Ludwig said; sitting back down. We all watched Feliciano smile more and tear up. And then his hand slipped out of mine and the heart monitor flat-lined.

I felt sick. I couldn't move. I could feel hands trying to pull me from my brother and I fought them. I could hear Antonio yelling but I couldn't hear the words. I could see Ludwig crying and leaving the room. And I could see the light fade from Feliciano.

His light was gone. His smile was gone. He was gone. And I couldn't move. I couldn't understand._ What was going on; what happened; he said he didn't want him to take him but I didn't do anything; I let his hand leave mine. I didn't help him. And now he was gone. Why is he gone? Feliciano; Feli; come back. Come back; te amo te amo te amo...!_ I felt my tears roll down my cheeks and I let myself be lead out of the room. _Don't...don't let that smile fade; don't let that light fade; te amo te amo te amo..._

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**_Story is dedicated to my half brother Cornelius. RIP big guy..._**


End file.
